2015's Boys Outings started with a brief wine trip to the Santa Ynez Valley in  late June. Call it a liver tune-up for July during OTL & CFD.              


Only 3 photos taken during the trip so let's start with this one at Babcock Winery where we teamed up again with Andrè & Jay. Lots of laughs and some damn good wine.
Alisos Canyon Rd. on the way east from Hwy 101 to Foxen Canyon, is this spectacle of roses lining the vineyards. Beautimus.
Grapevines in full leaf, buds & grapes to come thereafter, with picking around September. With all the heat CA is having there could be some high alcohol wines in this vintage.


         Now for OTL, where the Dickheads reigned and the bats were silent.                We resurrected "We've Finally Reached the Trophy Wife Income Bracket."   


The weekend started with golf in Mission Bay, and a tribute to/parody of BobBell who usually shows up wearing an outfit from the Ray Charles Store for Men. Congrats to Tom for the biggest balls in wearing that gear in public. Look closely at Bob's shirt and the lines are horizontal, while the shorts are plaid.
There's something awfully wrong with not only wearing all that in public but then smugly posing with it. Tom, do you realize you have a new grandson who'll see this pic one day? Hope he's well taken care of in The Will as his shrink bills are gonna be extensive.
Hmmm, plaid fedora, aloha shirt (actually made in Hawaii), 2-tone plaid shorts (usually reserved for the San Pedro Bar-to-Bar Run), golf socks. Sweet. Sure as hell didn't help your game.
How else would one prepare for OTL? This is the beginning of the annual Screwdriver Slush that sustains us on Fiesta Island as well as poolside at the Bahia. 1). start with an empty water bottle. 2). 3oz of vodka, Malibu rum, or booze of choice. 3) almost to the top with OJ or other mixer. 4) shake it up and freeze overnight, preferably on its side. Next day you have a slowly-thawing screwdriver. And the good news, you can't drink it as fast as a regular drink, thus an attempt at moderate sobriety.

These and copious amounts of beer helped us cope at the hotel when we weren't drinking at the bars.
Poolside at the Bahia, joined by some lovely ladies from the area, LtoR: Lisa, Vicky, Anna, Jena, Lisa. No, they weren't hired. We don't have that kinda money.
The Dickheads and their Dickhats were a huge success with requests for photos. The rule is that if a male wishes to take a pic of the guys, there MUST be a chick in the flick. This is San Diego and OTL, not West Hollywood and some goddam parade.
Damn nice lookin' gals, but inasmuch as they hung with us one might question their taste.
Who you callin' Shithead?
Oh, it's the hat. Sorry.
Who you callin' Dickhead?
Oh, it's the hat. Sorry.
No offense taken. Now can I hug you? In a manly sort of way, of course.

These guys were the opponents for our 2nd game. Our 1st game was a blowout and modesty forbids us from telling you who got their asses badly kicked. Let's just say we stood for the rest of the day, and we learned from these 2 games that youngsters DO NOT respect their elders.

Little do they know that if their mothers had had change for a dollar we'd be their fathers.


WTF do you guys have protruding outta your shorts? Oh of course, this is OTL, so who wouldn't expect a dick, a foot, and a chicken. Gotta be a joke there - nevermind the fact that these 3 guys are one.

(A dick, a foot, and a chicken walk into a bar...)

Later that evening the "Chicks With Sticks" proved their prowess at the pool table. No, not on it, playing pool, dammit.
And much later that night back at the Bahia bar, Vicky & Jena serenaded us with some karaoke singin' and some nice renditions.


Now for the Cheyenne festivities. Bert, Dave & Pat tried an overnight at the Terry Bison Ranch on the WY/CO border before heading to CFD. Beautiful & peaceful.    =======================================================================================

Our cabin, and rates quite reasonable and comfortable compared to our Cheyenne lodging. Two bedrooms, bath, sofabed, minikitchen, porch facing the following scenery. Nice.

Here's the eastward view from our porch. Herds of bison, hills, and grass, and not far over the horizon is Nebraska. That's about it.
A shot of "Downtown". Huge complex with plenty to do. Damn good restaurant. Damn good bar.
Yo guys, in porn parlance "pulling a train" has a different meaning. Might wanna jump off there before Larry Flynt sees you.
Okay, so trying a train wasn't good enough, you wanted to see what kids do when they go round 'n round.
Then the old fart decided to mount a longhorn. At his age mounting anything is best if it isn't moving, let alone alive. Meanwhile Bert tries out his roping skills. Not.
Not the nose dammit.

The train ride thru bison herds is inexpensive and worth it. The herd comes right up to the train as if looking for handouts. The only way to get them to back off is to yell "BARBECUED RIBS" in a loud voice.

Lo & behold, about midway thru the ride we see this sign. Needless to say the TBR is huge and spreads into two states.
After the ride it was time to check out some of the critters on the vast property. This young camel was first.
Followed by a young llama.
And what better way to finish the tour but with a view of the cutest little ass we'd seen all day.
What can one say? Allahu Akbar seems sorta out of place in this part of the country.
Ummm, how does "nice tail" sound?
Heyyyyyyyyy, nice chaps.
In the bar that night we were treated to the piano sounds of Jake, who can play just about anything. His next gig was up the road in Cheyenne at the Plains Hotel, doing lobby tunes duty.


  Next, north to Cheyenne & CFD. Pat's 25th anniversary. Jim's 50th         


     First we'd like to pay our respects to a couple of friends who've passed since the last CFD:         Cris Britten & Gordon Prickett.  Rest in peace kids, your memory lives on.

Cris at the Elks, a favorite hangout.
Here at the Elks with Jim (no, he's not picking his nose).
With Max & Pat, engaged in a hug-a-thon.
And below with Susan & Diane (RIP) on the Hell's Half Acre float. She was always classy, even when drenched in beer.

Gordon, always well-dressed, classy, and quick with a smile

The Red Wood was his favorite hangout, and before that the original WigWam.

In the early '90's he introduced our hats to Cheyenne's rain-soaked gutters, then to make sure, he stomped on 'em so that we'd buy new ones from him. That takes salesmanship to a whole new level.

His later years were encumbered with breathing problems, but the sense of humor stayed strong.


Heading into town we got a dose of reality. CA regular gas was going for a little over $4.00. Here it's $2.47.
Since we weren't riding in the parade on Tuesday, it was a treat to be able to sit outside the Plains and actually watch it. The "warm up act" was the STRolling Strings. Nuthin' but kids & strings and a fantastic sound.
The Air Force was there, and every time an American symbol came by the crowd went crazy with pride, cheers, and "thank you".
Yes, this old jalopy is slightly older than Pat, but not by much, and it sure looks and runs a helluva lot better than him.
The Union Pacific locomotive, specially built for Billy Barty and Tattoo.
That night, our Kansas City friend Chad (who dared brave CFD without his pussy-buddies) wasn't quite able to find his room and decided to "bunk" on the floor of one of our rooms. Alcohol is such a nasty roommate, but thank God for our friend gravity.
Hey, the least we could do is provide a pillow and a blankie in the interest of inter-state relations.

Later that day one of the Little Sisters of the Poor rescued him.

Bert's son Reed managed to talk the Oscar Mayer folks into entering their vintage WienerMobile in the parades. There's only 4-5 of these in the whole U.S. so this was an honor. Here it's parked curbside at the Plains Hotel.
Wasn't long before the Laramie County Sheriff's Department showed up. Uh, oh, what'd we do now? Too much wiener for this town? Are we supposed to put a cover over it?
Then another, and another, and another showed up. Four cars overall. Holy crap, who has bail money?
Hmmm, how do I write this one up?
Turns out all they wanted was to have their pictures taken with the WienerMobile. Phew.
Guys, gals, and a huge wiener. Where'd you say Larry Flynt went?
Thanks Reed, great job.

This shot is destined to make it into the OTL Program next year. Note, each of the guys is sporting an old OTL t-shirt.

Again we were blessed with the company of our friends from OTL. The gals thoroughly enjoyed their CFD visit, except for Anna (far left) who came down with a respiratory ailment to ruin her trip.
As is getting to be our custom, the renewed WigWam II bar wouldn't be complete if it didn't have the CFDSC welcoming banner at the entrance.
Lisa asked PJ: "So, how much you got down there?"

PJ said: "A foot."

She said: "Show me."

...so he did.
Los Tres Hefes (LtoR): Chris managed the Plains Hotel, David's company owns it, John was called in from Telluride to assist during CFD. They're on the hotel's roof watching the T-Birds air show. Great job guys, we enjoyed our stay at your place, with added thanks to Amanda & James for all their efforts in making our stay worthwhile.
Wednesday is when the AF Thunderbirds do the annual air show, which thrills the crowds. Here's their Fleur de Lis.
Next comes a tribute to our nation.
Thursday was Parade Day for the Tom Horn float, and Shane got roped (no pun intended) into portraying Tom. Louise, ever the groper, insisted she dress him in his TH shirt. We think her middle name is Cougar.
The day before the parade, the girls visited Louise to try on the countless outfits she'd made. We think they picked out some damn looking Float Ho giddy-up, not that they wouldn't look good in almost anything.
The CA Gals and their 1st CFD parade. Thanks again to Louise for all her hard work re: the costumes and in accommodating the girls.
Pssst, hey Lisa, Vicky and Anna - DO NOT TURN AROUND.
Every parade entry has to pass by the State Capitol's dome at the start. Quite a sight.
This 12-some of gals is unrivaled in the Parade for all its beauties.
Toni & Sandy - never too old be be a good lookin' Float Ho.
Looks like Raymond & Shaw made it into the big leagues here. Nice goin' guys.
And speaking of Shaw, he was kind enough to invite his Mommy & Daddy to join him in a CFD family picture.
And speaking of family, Shane and Ayla sure look like a great father/daughter combo. Better keep an eye on her Shane, she'll be street legal one day.

Of course all the CA guys will be teats up by then.
And what better place (and more logical) to find a bunch of good lookin' Hoes than in a bar.
On Friday we did the 2nd Annual Bar-to-Bar Trolly Run, with Sally as driver. Great personality and sense of humor. What's she doing driving this damn thing - needs to hang with us more.
Strange correlation between the amount of alcohol consumed and the ability to see. Come to think of it, all the senses get affected, don't they?
"Hi, I'm Dave and I'm running for President on the Dickhead platform, not that I need a goddam platform you buncha midgets.

"Oh, and about that little hint of lipstick on my cheek. I was minding my own business in this strange bar in Cheyenne when some guy with a pink shirt came by.

"Well, see for yourself........ "

"All I heard him say was "Heyyyyyyyyy" and something about what gay horses eat."

"I know what you're thinking: Mr. Heyyyyyyyy is on my left, yet the lipstick is on my right cheek. Let me just say that he's quick (and so was I)."

Clean up on aisle 6.
"If this is the look of contentment all I have to say is "Mooooooooooooooo."
"Hey Dave, you aren't alone. Same guy came up to me with this big black dildo in his hand and he shoved it in this mouth. Is this some form of subliminal advertising for the new Rainbow Room Lounge down the street?"
But then to prove that he bats from both sides of the plate he hit on Jena. Who wouldn't.
A nice afternoon repast with good friends and gooder booze.
When evening falls its time to put on one's street clothes and go dining.

Yes, there was definitely wine on the table.

No, Jena was not wearing a monocle.
The ever-popular (and funny as hell) Kip Attaway entertained nightly at the Red Wood. Had plenty of new material to keep us laughing hard.
Of course CFD wouldn't be the same without Bill Wilbur's High Horses. They were the main attraction in the WigWam Lounge during CFD and did their usual great job. Here's hoping the next owners of the Plains do something about the Lounge, its size, and acoustics.

By the way guys, nice shorts. Heyyyyyyyyy.
Another activity is the Couples Pool Contest. Okay, not really, but they do look damn good as couples and they did go out to play pool.
This is what a sunrise can look like viewing eastward (doh) out over the Downtown Depot. Good weather was had the entire time.
The gals showed off their cache of empty wine bottles. Hmmm, considering there were 4 of you (okay make it 3 who drank because Anna was under the weather), and you were there for 5 nights, that hardly qualifies for any wino awards. Shoulda been at least 15 empties if you wanna hang with the big kids.
Now all "consumption volume diatribe" aside, this gal knows the value of practice. Way to go Ms. Lovelace, oops, I mean Lisa, your future husband might stare at this nice shot for a lonnnnnng time.
Late one afternoon a "sing-a-long" was held in the Plains lobby. Must've been tolerable sounds as no one threw us out.
Ain't no stoppin' Weezie when there's fresh young blood to ride the float.
One would never guess she's older than The Old Fart, at least not the way she acts.
"Ma'am, that better be a shirt and not a dress."
This American hospitality is great, but a bit strange. :)
Oh shit, here we go again with another rookie.
Meanwhile the latest newbie gets his cherry popped.

The two lads above were introduced to their first CFD and coaxed into being the sheriff on the Tom Horn Float. Both are from across the pond, one from Great Britain and one from Scotland. They were on leave from their military positions as instructors in the fine art of being a sniper. We were delighted to have their company for the rest of the afternoon as we visited a few bars. They returned the compliment with accolades for all the American hospitality shown to them.

They're now duly acquainted with Tom Horn and others.
And later at the Plains it was Tom Horn reunion hour.
Later that afternoon Jena was hot on the trail of whoever left this boot behind. Sheesh, his jockstrap alone could double as cover for a Greyhound bus.
One night Tom flashed his fancy shirt and the girls wouldn't leave him alone.
The next night he wore his standard go-to-CFD shirt and.....

  And thus this episode draws to an end. Lots of fun, no one hurt, Cheyenne's revenue skyrocketed, at least in the  bars. We offer our sincere thanks to all who made this another successful CFD. David, John, Chris, Amanda & James at the Plains - you did a splendid job. Weezie & Felix, et al, can't figure out why those blind-ass judges don't give us another ribbon. Maybe if our faux Sheriffs carried real guns next time. To the So-Cal gals who dared try CFD one time - betcha come back again. Thanks also to Tom, Dave & Jena for the loads of pics you sent.